


Bring us down

by aces_low



Series: Unlocked Doors [9]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Moving In Together, the same problem of these two making assumptions and not just talking to each other like adults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: It's a very big day. Ray is finally moving in, and Nate is finally going to meet Ray's mom.Things never really go the way Nate plans.





	Bring us down

**Author's Note:**

> Hooray for new installments, and a new year!
> 
> Takes place between the end of Ray's sophomore year/Nate's Junior year and before Junior/Senior year.
> 
> Not based on the real guys, based on the HBO characters (Ray's mom portrayed here is just my own OC not at all based on the real woman)
> 
> Also, just a note for this verse: Ray's first name is Josh (as most of us know), but he decided to start going by Ray when he went away to college cause he's been reinventing himself, ya know.

Nate pulls into one of the free spaces closest to the dorms and parks the truck that Kocher’s brother let them borrow.

The parking lot is fairly empty, as most students moved out the day before. Since they’re only moving Ray a few blocks, they figured Ray could wait a day and spend one last night with Walt as roommates. They were supposed to be spending that last night finishing packing, which Nate hopes they actually did.

As he gets out of the truck he feels the familiar wave of anticipation in his stomach that has been getting stronger these last few weeks. Today is the day he’s been looking forward to for a long time. Both because he’s finally going to get to live with Ray and because it’s the day he’s finally going to meet Ray’s mom. Nate has wanted to meet Ray’s mom for a long time now, ideally to hear every story she can think of about Ray growing up, as well as to just see more of where Ray came from. For Ray, this day could have never come and he’d be just fine.

Despite Ray’s worries that his mom will say or do something that will make Nate somehow think less of him, any apprehension Nate has felt over the past few weeks has come more from Ray and his mom's relationship. From what he’s gleaned from Ray, he and his mom have always been close. It makes sense, as they were all each other had for years. In any other circumstance, Nate doesn’t think Ray would ever be ashamed of his mother, but for some reason, when it comes to Nate, Ray acts like his mother is some embarrassing holdout from his past that he hasn’t been fully able to shake off. 

As much as Ray might try to downplay how important she is to him, Nate is very aware of how essential it will actually be for him to get along with her. He’s not too worried about that though, from everything he’s been able to parse about the woman from Ray’s stories, she seems like a perfectly nice person. Nate just needs to make sure he doesn’t do something wrong and make a terrible first impression.

He also is banking on the fact that parents have always liked him, though this is the only one he’s ever actually cared about.

Nate makes his way toward the dorm building trying to calculate how long it will take for them to move everything today. Thankfully, it’s all hands on deck, so the moving part shouldn’t take long. Walt will be helping them take everything down and into the truck, while the guys are waiting at the house to bring everything in when they arrive. Then it’ll just be a matter of finding a place for all of Ray’s things, and, for some reason, that thought thrills him.

The excitement in him has reached an all-time high and he has an almost spring in his step as he reaches the door. He glances behind himself as he opens the door to see a woman making her way toward him.

His heartbeat picks up as he immediately recognizes the familiar features. She has the same large, brown eyes, dark hair and slight frame as her son. When she says, “thank you,” as he holds the door open for her, she even has a stronger version of the vaguely southern drawl that Ray gets when he’s drunk or half asleep.

He feels himself beginning to smile at the realization that she very well may be just an older, female version of Ray, and Nate is pretty sure that means he is going to like her.

Nate follows her inside and can’t help but stare as she hits the up button for the elevator. She side-eyes him for a moment before looking up to meet his eyes, watching him expectantly.

“Sorry,” he says, realizing he’s being weird. “Are you…Cindy Person?”

The lady goes from slightly suspicious to almost excited. It looks like Ray even got her smile.

“I am.”

Nate hesitates for just a moment, knowing Ray will be furious that they talked without him there to moderate, but he can’t just refuse to introduce himself.

Before he can say anything though, she takes a step closer to him.

“Wait, are you Walt?” she asks, her large smile still in place.

Nate grins, he supposes if she’s only gotten verbal descriptions of both Walt and himself that it could make sense that she’d confuse the two of them.

“Actually, I’m Nate,” he tells her, holding out his hand to shake.

“Oh,” she says, then looks at him like she’s taking him in for the first time now. 

He watches as her large smile slowly starts to fade and something in his stomach starts to twist.

She clears her throat and shakes his hand lightly for just a fraction of a second before the elevator doors open and she quickly let’s go to step inside.

Nate follows behind her, slowly. He doesn’t understand what her behavior means, he knows that Ray has told her about him, so he highly doubts she just doesn’t know who he is. 

“It’s the 4th floor,” he tells her when he sees she hasn’t hit a button yet.

“I helped him move in, I know what floor he lives on,” she says bluntly and Nate suddenly feels as though his whole body is being engulfed in flames, he can already tell that his ears are probably bright red they’re burning so hot. 

Something is wrong, this isn’t how his introduction to Ray’s mom was supposed to go. He’d anticipated some awkwardness, or maybe accidentally saying something stupid, but he’s barely said or done anything, at least not enough to warrant the distaste he feels directed toward him. Nate hadn’t prepared himself for this kind of reaction.

They ride up to the fourth floor in silence and Nate presses himself into the back corner, in a fruitless attempt to just phase right through the wall. 

He feels some of the pressure let out when the doors open on the fourth floor, and he can't wait to get to Ray and have him defuse the awkwardness. Only, instead of walking out, Ray’s mom hesitates before hitting the button for the first floor and the ‘doors closed’ button.

Now, Nate can definitely feel his heart beating against his ribs and he has the morbid thought that he is about to be murdered.

“What are you doing?” he asks as the doors close and they make their way back down to the lobby.

Ray’s mom turns to him. “This will probably be the only time I have alone with you without Josh trying to interrupt,” she explains.

It doesn’t make this moment any less sinister feeling, but Nate swallows and nods his head.

She takes a deep breath before she starts.

“I’m sure you’re a perfectly fine person, Nate, but I gotta tell ya, I just don’t approve of my son’s relationship with you, and I really don’t care for the two of you moving in together.”

Nate feels numb and frozen in place, unable to look away from her face as she speaks.

“You’re his first boyfriend, I’m sure you know that. And this is all getting far more serious than I’d ever expected it to when he first told me about the two of you,” she says, shaking her head. “This is not what he came all the way here to school for. Josh is meant to do great things and he’s had all sorts of obstacles to hold him back, he doesn’t need another one. He doesn’t need to waste all his time and focus on his first boyfriend.”

He is still frozen, unable to form thoughts or words, unable to find any kind of response to tell her that’s she’s got it all wrong. His face is hopefully blank, and not showing just how hard her emphasis on Nate being Ray’s “first” boyfriend has hit him.

The doors of the elevator open to the lobby and she hits the button for the fourth floor again before she continues.

“Now, you’re adults, so I don’t get a say in what he does. I just wanted you to know what I think,” she tells him, then looks him straight in the eye. “And I think you’re just a distraction.”

Neither of them speaks after that, just continue to stare at each other until they hear the doors opening. This time, thankfully, she turns and steps out of the elevator and Nate finally feels himself breathe again.

He can feel the blood pounding and rushing through his ears, and he’s sure his whole body is shaking from the sheer force of his heartbeat. He barely registers that he’s walking until he stops in front of Ray’s door just as it is opening.

Ray’s eyes widen when he sees both his mom and Nate standing on the other side of the door.

“You guys weren’t supposed to meet without me there,” Ray whines before his mom steps forward to pull him into a tight hug.

Nate watches as Ray’s expression changes from a pout to a small, soft grin as Ray hugs her back. He still feels like he’s operating on autopilot, but that small grin makes something sharp start to grow in Nate’s chest that he doesn’t have the mental capacity to process at the moment.

Once they’ve cleared the doorway, he follows them inside.

“That’s Walt,” Ray tells his mom, pointing to where Walt is standing by his bed.

Walt smiles and holds out his hand, but Ray’s mom bypasses that to pull Walt into a strong hug of his own.

“I’ve heard so much about you, it’s so nice to finally meet you, sweetie,” she says, pulling back to look at Walt again.

Nate feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. Apparently, Ray’s friends aren’t a distraction the same way Nate is.

Ray steps toward him, smiling shyly up and reaches out to wrap his arm around Nate’s waist, but Nate maneuvers away from the embrace and quickly looks around at the boxes on Ray’s side of the room.

“Is this stuff ready to go?” he asks, surprised to hear his voice working and steady.

Ray frowns as he nods.

“I’ll start taking them out to the truck,” Nate says, not waiting for a response before he stacks one box on top of another and picks them up.

He leaves the room as fast as he can.

It’s only when he’s outside that he feels like he can breathe properly. He sets the boxes down in the bed of the truck and tries to rub the sharp pain out of his chest.

He doesn’t know what to do here. Ray hadn’t mentioned anything about his mom disliking him or their relationship. The only thing he’s been openly worried about has been that she’d say or do something embarrassing and Nate would, for some reason, decide that meant Ray’s whole lineage was too fucked up for him to want to continue their relationship any longer. Because Ray has a very strange idea of what he thinks Nate does and doesn’t like about him. He’s never expressed any concern that any dislike could come, instead, from his mother. In fact, he’s made several comments about how Nate would be the perfect person to bring home to parents. It doesn't seem that’s the case here.

She clearly has the wrong idea about who he is and what Ray and his relationship is, especially if she thinks that all he does is waste Ray’s time. Sure, he knows that Ray is meant to do great things, and Nate doesn’t always feel like he’s intellectually capable of keeping up with Ray sometimes. But he’d never want to just waste Ray’s time, he wants Ray to succeed and do well, he’d never actively stand in the way of that.

But he can’t just march back up to her and start listing all the reasons she’s wrong about him, she’s Ray’s mom, and regardless of any annoyance he sometimes has for her, she is probably the most important person in the world to Ray and he’s not going to be happy with Nate and her not getting along.

Nate takes a deep breath. He just has to get through today and tomorrow and then he can go back to living in ignorance of Cindy Person’s personal feelings toward him while trying to counter any attempts she makes at hinting to Ray that Nate is not worth his time. Nate has to assume that while she chose the direct approach with him, she’s probably being much more subtle with Ray, just slowly trying to chip away at them. It makes him feel sick, realizing that she may be actively trying to break them up and having no idea how to stop her.

“Hey.”

He’s startled from his musings by Ray’s voice. He looks over to see Ray carrying a box toward him, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“Hey,” he says back before taking the box out of Ray’s hand to slide it into the bed.

“So…” Ray starts slowly, hedging for Nate to talk.

Unfortunately, Nate doesn’t have anything to say, except maybe ‘turns out your mother hates me’, but he can’t just say that, so he’s a bit at a loss of where to go with this conversation.

When Nate doesn’t say anything, just crosses his arms and leans back against the truck, Ray starts to get fidgety.

“So, my mom…” he tries again, looking around at the nearly empty parking lot as his fingers drum against his leg.

Nate continues to watch him, wishing he could pull Ray up from whatever it is he’s struggling with, unfortunately, Nate is struggling with his own shit right now.

“She’s a lot at first, but…so am I, right? I’m sure she’ll grow on you the way I did. She’s really not that bad once you get to know her,” Ray rushes out, and the desperation in his voice is enough to make the pain in Nate’s chest shift away from his own self-pity.

Ray still thinks that it’s Nate who needs to be sold on her, still thinks that Nate would somehow not like the person who gave birth to and raised him. Despite Nate loving him, Ray still thinks Nate could somehow not care about the person who is closest to him. 

And he finally gets what it is that Ray has been worried about. Because, for Ray, if Nate doesn’t like his mother, then he probably isn’t as in love with Ray as he claims.

Nate uncrosses his arms and reaches out to Ray, who hesitates for a second before falling into Nate’s embrace, wrapping his arms around Nate’s middle.

“She’s great,” Nate tells Ray quietly. Using the reminder of what he already knows about her from Ray’s stories, and that her reaction to Walt had been kind, and that she clearly loves Ray, he can say that with confidence, regardless of how he personally feels about her.

“Yeah?” Ray’s answering grin is so vulnerable at Nate’s words that he feels some of the pain ease from his chest.

 

The rest of the morning is tense but uneventful as the four of them finish putting all of Ray’s things into the truck. Both Cindy and Ray spend most of the time chattering away, making it easy for Nate to keep to himself as much as possible.

It’s when they finally make their way over to the house, Brad, Poke and Kocher all come out to help and she excitedly guesses who each one is, correctly, before giving them each a hug, that the sick twist in Nate’s stomach starts again. It seems, of all the people Ray has told his mom about, Nate is the only one she hasn’t been excited to meet. And he can admit to himself – and only to himself – that there is definite jealousy rippling underneath his skin as he watches her tell Brad how badly she’s been wanting to meet him. 

At a better time, Nate will be able to understand how excited Ray’s mother must have been when Ray called home after his third week of school and informed her that he’d actually made a friend. He’ll be able to appreciate how relieved she must have been and how many stories she must have heard about Brad, while Nate would still have only been referred to as Brad’s roommate. Until that time though, Nate just chews on the inside of his cheek, keeps his head down, and carries boxes past them.

Ray’s mom buys everyone pizza, which they eat once all of Ray’s things have been shoved and stacked into Nate’s – now their – room.

Once again, most of the conversation is dominated by the Person family, and the other guys jump in when they can, allowing Nate the ability to zone out and only reply with generic responses when someone looks to him.

After lunch, Ray’s mom makes Ray give her a tour of campus before they go shopping, which she insists upon because “all I ever do when I come here is move you in and out of places”, while Nate starts unpacking and finding space among his things for Ray’s.

Only, instead of actually unpacking anything and making the room somewhat livable again, after Nate opens the first box he has to sit down on the bed to catch his breath. Because a sudden wave of panic has passed through him at the realization that if Ray’s mom is serious about disliking their relationship, she may eventually convince Ray to leave. And then they’ll have to pack everything back up again.

He plays through the different scenarios in his head, of watching Ray pack everything back up, of him coming home to find Ray’s stuff gone, of Nate packing everything up for him. 

Nate doesn’t know why he’s torturing himself with these thoughts, he knows Ray loves him and wants to live with him. Just because his mother doesn’t feel the same way doesn’t change how Ray feels, and doesn’t mean she’ll be able to ever convince him to change how he feels.

Eventually, he’s able to shake himself out of his negative spiral, reminding himself that today is supposed to be a good day. He’s been wanting to live with Ray for months now. He gets to fall asleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning, he won’t have to worry about Ray walking back to his place all alone at midnight, and he’ll get a taste of what it will feel like to have their own home together. Because that’s the ultimate plan for him, one day – once they’re both done with school and have jobs – that they’ll buy a place together and take care of it together and not have to worry about anyone else.

He takes a deep breath and stands, trying to keep those thoughts in his head as he finally gets to work on unpacking. 

He’s only able to get through putting all of Ray’s clothes away, in the spaces that he’d already cleared out for him, by the time Ray and his mom get back.

“Sorry,” he says when he’s revealed how little work he’s gotten done. “I got distracted by something.”

Ray shrugs as he starts putting away some of the groceries his mom bought for him. “That’s ok, we’ve got all week before either of us start getting busy with work and class and stuff.”

Nate helps Ray get all the groceries put away, enjoying the domestic feel between them already. He even eases up enough that when Ray moves to kiss him he doesn’t think to stop him - something he’s been doing all day, for fear that Ray’s mother will see and voice her dislike of him again.

He pulls away quickly though when he hears Ray’s mom’s voice in the living room. Ray rolls his eyes at Nate’s reaction but grabs his hand and pulls him toward the door. Nate is able to remove Ray’s grip once they’re at the doorway and he takes a step away from him.

“Oh, there you are,” Ray’s mom says as they walk into the room. “I was just telling Brad to call Walt because I want to take the three of you to dinner.”

Ray grins. “Four.”

“What?”

“Me, Brad, Walt, and Nate. Four.”

Nate’s insides are twisting again, knowing that Ray’s mom almost definitely hadn’t miscounted. He has half a mind to just step back into the kitchen and hope nobody notices.

Ray’s mom glances at him for just a moment before looking back at Ray.

“I’d like to get some time with you and your friends, who I’ve been waiting to meet since last year,” she finally says as an explanation. 

Ray furrows his eyebrows and he looks like he attempting to solve a complicated math problem in his head. Only, Nate knows he doesn’t have an important piece of the equation, and without that piece, he’ll never be able to solve it.

“But-“ he starts before she cuts him off.

“I don’t have the kind of money where I can just take everyone out to eat all the time, Josh.”

Nate is sure his ears are bright red again. The only thing that keeps his own embarrassment in check is seeing the embarrassment all over Ray’s face. If there was one thing that would shut Ray up it was for her to make a comment like that in front of Nate. 

Ray ducks his head and looks like he’s both trying to gauge Nate’s reaction, while also not wanting to be caught looking. 

Part of Nate wants to assure Cindy Person that he doesn’t ever want her paying for anything for him and that he is perfectly capable of buying his own food. But he fights his desire to be petty, a Herculean feat in his own mind, and instead says, “that’s fine actually, I want to get some more unpacking done tonight, and I’m not really hungry.”

The last part isn’t even a lie. His stomach has been tied up in knots all day that he hasn’t had much of an appetite. Plus, he’d rather be here than sitting at an uncomfortable dinner with someone who will most likely just ignore him the whole time, or decide to make snide remarks, or say something else that might embarrass Ray. 

Finally, Ray lifts his head to look him straight on and he frowns, while Brad seems uncharacteristically interested in the fabric of the couch, and Ray’s mom keeps her gaze firmly on Ray.

Nate meets Ray’s eyes and nods his head, hoping he’ll let the issue drop.

Ray watches him for a long moment before he sighs and shrugs. “Fine, let’s go.”

“Uh, I’ll give Walt a call then,” Brad says slowly as he stands up from the couch and makes his way back toward his bedroom without another word.

Nate can feel his hands shaking, so he balls them into fists and steps back toward the kitchen. 

“You guys have fun,” he says to Ray and his mom before quickly turning and walking through the kitchen toward his – and Ray’s – bedroom.

But, instead of being allowed to wallow in his self-pity over Ray’s mom hating him again, Ray follows after him and closes the door to their bedroom behind them.

“I’m sorry,” Ray says, leaning back against the door.

Nate tries to hide his shaking hands by clearing off space on his desk, even though it’s already pretty cleaned off. 

He shrugs, hoping it looks nonchalant. “It’s really not a problem.”

“Well, if nothing else, it’s super weird, I don’t know why she’s being weird like this,” Ray says, and when Nate finally looks back at him his eyes are wide.

“Maybe she’s just tired, it’s been a long day,” Nate suggests, and feels his stomach sour at outright lying to Ray like that. He reminds himself that, in the long run, not involving Ray and not making him feel like Nate wants him to pick sides, will be for the best.

They just have to get through the rest of the night and until she leaves tomorrow. For Ray, he can do that.

Ray shrugs, whether he’s buying Nate’s excuse or just humoring him Nate can’t tell.

“Still, I-“

“Seriously, Ray. Go have dinner, have a good time. I’ll be fine here,” Nate says, moving to stand right in front of Ray and places his hands on Ray’s shoulders.

“Ok,” Ray says slowly, watching Nate’s eyes closely. “But don’t unpack everything. I know you have specific places you like things, but let me do some work.”

Nate grins. “I’ll save a whole box for you to do whatever you want with.”

“Wow, a whole box?” Ray asks, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Within reason,” Nate amends, he can’t have Ray going too wild in where he decides to put things. He knows Ray well enough that he’ll take this as a creative challenge for himself.

Ray shakes his head but finally begins to smile again, so Nate leans down to place a chaste kiss on Ray’s lips. Only, he should know better than think Ray would ever let him get away with a chaste kiss when he has the opportunity to deepen it.

Two seconds later though there is a sharp knock on the door and Nate jumps back from him like he’d been shocked.

“Josh, let’s go,” Ray’s mom calls before turning the handle to open the door.

Ray grabs the handle before she can open it though. “Ok, I’m coming.”

He looks over at Nate again, eyes still searching for something that Nate hopes he never sees. 

“Have a good time,” Nate says, turning to one of the boxes sitting on the bed.

“Ok, you too,” Ray says, before quickly adding, “I love you.”

Nate bites his lip and closes his eyes, he didn’t know how badly he’d needed to hear those words from Ray until he’s said them. 

He sighs and grins, turning back toward Ray to reciprocate. Only, all he sees is the wide-open door, Ray already gone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You still haven’t told me what you think of Nate,” Ray says to his mom as they get back into the car after dinner.

It had actually been fun introducing his mom and his friends to each other, though he still wishes Nate could have been there. The only explanation Ray can think of as to why his mom hadn’t wanted Nate to come was so that they could talk about him. 

Now that Walt and Brad are on their way to the dorm for Walt’s last night, it’s finally just the two of them and Ray is extremely curious to know what his mom thinks. 

“Well, I haven’t talked to him much, ya know, just like you told me not to,” she answers.

Ray scowls. “You could have talked to him tonight. It could have just been the three of us, and-“

“Josh Ray, I’ve been waiting to meet Brad and Walt for a long time now, longer than I’ve known about Nate, so forgive me if my priorities are a little different than yours.”

“Fine,” Ray sighs. “So, the little you have gotten from him, what do you think? He’s cute, right?”

His mom side-eyes him as she drives. “He’s handsome, yes.”

“I told you I bagged myself a hottie,” Ray says with a grin and his mom chuckles.

Once she’s settled down though, she says, “just remember, looks aren’t everything.”

Ray rolls his eyes. “Obviously.” Anyone who knows Nate knows his looks aren’t the best thing about him, they’re just a bonus to an already amazing person.

They drive in silence for a few minutes, but when they stop at a stop light his mom suddenly turns to him.

“Are you sure about moving into that house? You know we could find you an apartment, just for you, where you’d be less distracted.”

Ray groans, this is not the first time his mom has brought up the idea of Ray getting his own place.

“I don’t want to live by myself,” he reminds her. “And why waste money on an apartment? I’m gonna be splitting everything five ways with the guys. Plus, we study in the library so there are no distractions.”

He feels a little like he gets it from all sides, this push for focus and working hard and excelling in school. If it’s not his mom nagging him about his grades it’s Nate making sure he’s going to class and doing all the work he should be doing. If it continues too much next year he thinks he’s going to have to have another talk with Nate to remind him that they’re boyfriends and Ray does not need him to double as a parental figure.

The light turns green and they continue on, but his mom keeps talking.

“If it’s a money thing you know we have those savings that we’ve barely had to touch. You could get your own place for these last two years and we’d still have money to spare. I’ve been saving it since before you were born.”

Ray shifts in his seat and crosses his arms. He knows his mom has been saving for a long time. He also knows that his college savings account hadn’t originally been started for him. 

“Ya know, you could still use it,” he suggests, not for the first time. “Even if it’s just for your Associates, you could take classes at night, or-“

“I’m not gonna go back to school, Josh. It’s been over twenty years, I’d have no idea what I was doing,” she says, waving him off.

“Just try one class, see if you like it.”

“You’ll probably want to go to grad school,” she argues back. “The least amount of student loan debt we have, the better.”

Ray huffs, arguing with his mom never leads anywhere, and yet he always tries. “Maybe I’ll get scholarships for that too.”

She side-eyes him again. “Let’s just see how these last two years go before you start making plans. You never know what’ll happen that could derail you.”

That makes him frown, knowing she’s talking about her own history of getting derailed. “Uh, Nate and I can’t get pregnant so I think we’ll be ok.”

“There are more things than pregnancy that can mess plans up,” she tells him. “Those people that spend all their time partying instead of studying, who flunk out because they never go to class, they don’t think about consequences until it’s too late. Breakups or fights that make you too depressed to do anything. You gotta be careful, Josh, you don’t want to waste this opportunity you’ve been given.”

“I know that,” he says defensively, sure, he doesn’t work as hard as someone like Nate does, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take it seriously. “You do remember that I finished this semester with a 4.0, right?”

He’s pretty sure that’s at least 50% Nate’s doing, making him study more than he’d normally do and literally scheduling study dates for them. He’d never tell Nate that though, it’d just encourage him to do it more. 

“Yes, and I’m very proud of you, I just don’t want you to get distracted or feel pressured to spend time away from studying.”

Ray narrows his eyes at that, he has no idea what would pressure him to stay away from school work, other than his own laziness. There’s only one thing he can think of what his mom might be worried about.

“Is this about me getting that part-time job at the coffee shop? I told you, I’m only gonna be working there like one day a week and weekends, it’s the one right by the library so I’ll probably be studying before and after shifts anyway.”

“The library where Nate will be working, right?”

“Yeah?”

She doesn’t explain the meaning of her question, instead just parks the car in front of Nate’s – now his – house. 

No one is in the living room when they get inside, in fact, there is no noise in the house at all. Kocher drove home for the weekend, but Poke isn’t planning on going home for another few days, so he thinks that maybe Poke and Nate went out.

Only, even though it’s not even 10 o’clock yet, when he opens the door to their room he sees Nate already asleep. So, no chance of his mom and Nate getting to know each other tonight. Ray knows this is what he’d wanted, for them to not talk too much and for Nate to not come away from these two days thinking Ray’s mom is just weird and uneducated. Now, seeing how little they’ve interacted, he’s worried that Nate hasn’t been able to see that she’s much smarter and warmer than she may seem at first glance.

“Nate’s asleep,” he tells his mom as he walks back into the living room.

“Well, it’s been a long day, maybe we both should turn in too. Unless you wanted to talk?” she asks, watching Ray expectantly.

Ray shakes his head. He’s missed seeing his mom, and he knows he should probably take this small amount of time he has with her to spend as much of it with her as he can. But right now, all he really wants to do is join Nate in their bed. And he gets a thrill up his spine at the reminder that it's now _theirs_.

She kisses his cheek as they say goodnight and he watches her make her way down the hallway to Brad’s room, that Brad had given to her for the night. He finds his toothbrush in the bathroom right next to Nate’s and he can’t help his smile when he sees it, feeling something warm spread through his chest.

When he gets to their room he opts for pulling off his clothes instead of turning on the light or stumbling his way through trying to find where Nate put everything. Though he can’t help the fact that he jostles Nate as he crawls his way up the bed and pulls the sheet down to lay next to him.

When he’s finally settled and his eyes have adjusted to the dark room, he sees that Nate isn’t asleep at all.

“How was dinner?” Nate asks, voice soft but even, not groggy or slurred like Ray had just woke him up.

“It was fun,” Ray tells him, still feeling guilty about Nate getting excluded from that. “How was unpacking all my shit?”

Nate shifts and rests an arm on Ray’s side and Ray automatically moves closer. “All done, except for one box, as promised.”

Ray grins and closes the gap between them to kiss him. He can feel Nate hesitate for just a second before he kisses him back, though when Ray parts his lips Nate moves back.

“Ya know, it’s our first night with this being _our_ bed in _our_ room,” Ray points out, slowly snaking his hand around to Nate’s back. “We should probably celebrate the occasion.”

He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, but Nate stops his hand as it makes its way down his back.

“No, not tonight,” Nate says, removing Ray’s hand from him completely.

Ray rolls his eyes, sure that he knows what Nate’s concern is. So, he grins and presses himself flush against Nate and leaving an open-mouthed kiss against his neck.

“She’s not gonna hear us,” he promises. “I’ll be real quiet.”

Nate pushes him away, shoving Ray’s hands off him again, his voice almost icy when he speaks. 

“I said no,” he bites out before turning his back on him.

Ray blinks and stares at Nate’s back in shock. After a few seconds where it’s clear that Nate isn’t going to turn back around, Ray turns to lay on his back and shifts closer toward the wall.

“Ok,” Ray says, frowning up at the ceiling. “Sorry.”

Something heavy settles over his chest and he tries to keep the volume down as he takes a deep breath.

This isn’t how he’d imagined his first day living with Nate to go. All day he’s felt like Nate has been pulling away, keeping him at arm’s length, even when his mom wasn’t around. He’d assumed that Nate just wanted to avoid anything even sort of related to what had happened with Nate's family when they’d met. But this feels different. Not wanting to have sex is one thing, not wanting to even touch him is something else.

There are only two reasons Ray can think of that Nate is acting like this, and neither of them are good. One, he may be having second thoughts about living together or at least freaking out about taking this next step. Or two, the very little interaction Nate had with Ray’s mom is making him rethink everything.

Ray doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t know how to ask Nate if all the time he’s spent alone today has been spent reconsidering everything they’re doing here.

He’s right on the verge of letting these thoughts take him over, his breathing about to turn into hyperventilation, when Nate turns and wraps his arm around Ray’s waist.

Ray holds his breath for a moment, wondering if Nate is sleeping or if this is intentional before Nate presses his face into Ray’s neck.

Nate’s warm breath tickles Ray’s skin as he speaks. 

“I love you,” he says softly, hugging Ray just a little bit tighter.

As quickly as they appeared, with those simple words, Ray’s frantic thoughts disappear like clouds opening after a storm. The heavy weight on his chest is lifted, the only weight now is from Nate’s warm, solid hold on him.

He tentatively wraps an arm around Nate, pressing his hand against Nate’s back. When Nate relaxes a little more into his side Ray feels the last bit of tension in his arm subside, letting himself hold onto Nate more firmly. 

“I love you too,” he tells Nate as he feels his breath even out.

Ray knows that this doesn’t change the weird vibes he’s been feeling all day, and they probably need to talk soon about whatever it is that is possibly causing Nate to pull away. For now, he can fall asleep knowing that they still love each other. And at the end of the day, that’s really all that matters to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> The next installment will go more into summer shenanigans with this crew (including both Ray and Nate's birthdays!)


End file.
